By: Maria Climent Huguet
Maria Climent is a 26-year-old Catalan lady. After studying translation, she decided her life was odd enough to became a humor scriptwriter and by default, a blogger. This is how she’s now a mother of no one and a better person. She also likes to cook!
Being a woman is not easy. We often find ourselves a little more vulnerable, like being on a rollercoaster of emotions “thanks to” hormones.
Let’s assume you have been through many love affairs during your travels around the world and by this token, I guess many of them have been short-lived romances. Generally, people assume women take these things more seriously than men. But do we? Let’s find some scientific evidence about what hormones do to women’s body when they are having a love affair. And keep your judgements to yourself, as we are sick of hearing that we are weak, cry-babies or emotionally dependant!
|A girl enters a bar and there are around 20 boys. But she quickly pays attention to only one specific man.
||There is evidence that it takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you fancy someone and the amazing thing is that:
• 55% is through body language
• 38% is the tone and speed of their voice
• Only 7% is through what they say During ovulation estrogen levels are lower. Estrogens are hormones that act similar to prozac in the brain; that said, they keep emotions under control. This is why women are more vulnerable during these days, because of the lack estrogens and as consequence, lack of control over their emotions. Moreover, as this is their most fertile period, they are unconsciously more receptive to have sex.
|He has noticed she’s looking at him and goes to talk to her. They laugh and talk and there is progressively more physical contact. They like each other instantly. He finally offers to walk her to her Barcelona accommodation. He kisses her at the door and she invites him in.
|| There is evidence that to falling in love with someone it only takes the following:
• Find a complete stranger who has previously passed the 90sec-4-min or first sight test.
• Reveal intimate details and secrets to each other for about half an hour. • Look into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes. During the above mentioned situation between a man and a woman, a woman’s body is releasing adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin, a delicious combination of natural body-produced drugs that keep her enthusiastic, charming, funny and alert – and so happy, for sure.
|They do it, and if she’s lucky, she will have an orgasm
||Here oxytocine comes into play, a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm, although women release a much higher quantity than men. What this hormone does is strengthen bonds with the person who caused the secretion of it, causing the feeling of necessity and protection towards that person. Notice that it’s the same hormone through which mothers bond with their children.
|She wants him to cuddle her after sex. He falls asleep. She is a bit disappointed
||As a consequence of a higher oxytocine release women have a bigger desire to cuddle, while men have a downfall in testosterone and their metabolism is slowed down so they can fall asleep in an instant. But sometimes women take this as a personal offence; many of them feel they are not being loved enough, but in reality this is caused by different levels of different hormones.
|Four days later they meet again. They talk, they laugh, they kiss, they do it again. She hopefully is able to reach orgasm again. This time he cuddles her. The situation repeats over 3 weeks.
||At this point apart from oxytocine continuing being released in huge quantities, vasopressine enters the game. Vasopressine is the hormone for long-term commitment, also released when reaching orgasm and linking the women to men in a similar way oxytocine does. If, furthermore, the man cuddles the woman after sex, the woman’s oxytocine levels skyrocket, as he’s fulfilling her expectation. His affection is now like a drug for her.
|10 days later he calls her and tells her he’s got back together with his ex girlfriend. To him it was just a holiday fling, nothing else.
||Now we are at the crossroad to determine whether or not our hormones have such great power over our feelings. The drama occurs when oxytocine levels are stratospheric and the man abandons the woman. What the woman is experiencing now is called abstinence symptom. She has already linked herself to the man. The over-production of hormones responsible for feelings of affection and happiness comes to a sudden stop.
Our body can play a dirty trick on our mental health, but after all it was just a fling. And being the savvy traveller you are, hopefully you move on thinking about the next place you want to see. Don’t let your hormones take over. All you have to do is remember that it’s a chemical processes in our body and we will recover from them. Yes, I know it puts a real damper on romance but, who likes suffering? So, enjoy your feminity and all the good things it implies in one of the apartments in Barcelona now that you know that falling in and out of love is equally easy.