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The Traveller World Guide | Best Travel Tips and Vacation.

The Crazy Guy from New Zealand

Travel Tips - Ross French - January 13, 2011

wellington_new_zealand

wellington_new_zealandBy: Lindsay Hogg

Crazies Make for Great Stories!

I keep reading posts written by travel bloggers who have found themselves in the company of someone who may be referred to as ‘crazy’. I’ve finally come across one and written it word for word to share with all of you! You’re welcome…
I decided to travel from the south island, New Zealand, to the north island by ferry. Although at the time I vowed to never step foot on a boat again and search for cheap flights whenever I needed to get from A to B, but the experience made for such a good blog post! And I guess you can come across ‘crazies’ anywhere right?
I’ve met some out of control people through my travels, but no one compares to the dude I met on this ferry. He sat down beside me and once I realized how interesting our conversation was going to be, I pulled out my laptop and wrote it down, word for word.
It started out slightly innocent. He asked me where I was from and I told him I was Native to Canada. To which he replied:

“You Americans say such silly things, like ‘garbage can’ instead of ‘rubbish bin’.

I just laughed, and didn’t correct him that I am Canadian, not American. I assumed he wasn’t paying attention until he questioned me with THIS:

Roy: “So Canada’s it’s own country? It’s different than America?”
Me: “Yes, Canada is it’s own country”
Roy: “Can you drive to America from there?”
Me: “Yes, you can”

We chatted a bit more about how I was going home for Christmas and although I was excited to see family, I dreaded the snow and wished I could find a cheap flight to Alicante, Spain and soak up the sun for Christmas. After explaining to him where Spain was and that, yes, they do speak Spanish there he randomly asked me if I was  “scared when that big explosion happened?”  For a minute I thought I had missed something on the news and was unaware of something that had happened back in Toronto…

Me: “What explosion, was this recent in Canada?”
Roy: “You know in the city, that big attack, did you hear it?”
Me: “Are you referring to 9/11?”
Roy: “Yeah, that’s it! Those black guys attacking America”
Me: “Um, no… that was in America, I was still in Canada about 10 hours away”

Now, I don’t expect everyone to have a large geographical knowledge, but come on! Because this wasn’t entertaining enough, he then asked me about my travels and I somehow got on the topic of Peru…
Roy: “That’s the capital right?”
Me: “No, it’s a country, it has it’s own capital though”
Roy: “So what’s the capital then?”
Me: “What do you mean?
Roy: “What’s the capital of South America!?”

QUICK! Change topics!!! I thought it couldn’t get any worse, but this is what made me wish I was on a plane rather than this boat.

Me: “So, have you been anywhere outside New Zealand?
Roy: “I’ve been to Australia and I was supposed to move there for work but I won’t be able to right now”
Me: “Why can’t you move there?”
Roy: “Well I had a going away party a little while before I was supposed to leave and this guy was ‘getting all up in my dad’s face’ so I beat him up, really badly and now I might be going to jail for over 2 years.

YUP….

Roy: “Anyways, you must have seen a lot of things on your travels around the world”
Me: “Yep, I’ve seen a lot of cool stuff, I’m not gonna lie!”
Roy: “Have you seen death?”
Me: “Huh? Do you mean, have i seen someone die?
Roy: “Yeah, have you seen death?”
Me: “Ummm no, a lot of mountains and stuff… different cultures, but no death”

sussy_wellington

The lovely Sussy

Our intellectual conversation was cut short due to our arrival in Wellington… BUT, since my luck was at an ultimate high, it turned out Roy was able to find me on the street and wants to stay at the same hostel! YAY!
He also wants to stay in the SAME ROOM!
DOUBLE YAY!

I had to meet my friend Sussy about 30 minutes after I got to the hostel so I quickly started cleaning myself up, while putting on face cream, Roy informed me that I was putting on too much makeup. I told him not to worry, it was only face cream because my skin was dry.
He then asked where I was going and I told him I was going to meet my Finish friend Sussy.

Roy: “What is your friend finished?”
Me: “No, she’s FINISH, because she’s from Finland”
Roy: “So what does that make you, Canadish?”
Me: “Mmm… not exactly”

I went out with Sussy and came back sleepy/somewhat drunk and crashed.
At 3 am, the only other person in the room besides Roy and I happened to be a 45 year old Russian dude that began to rummage around in the middle of the night and when I opened my eyes he came close to my face and asked me what time it was. I heard a noise above me. It was Ray giggling.

Mr.Russian then woke up at 6am and began packing, to which Ray exclaimed:
“Shut the F&%$ up, you old ‘C’ word” (YEAH! the ‘C’ word… I KNOW!)

Mr.Russian GLARED at Roy for a few moments and I really thought I was going to experience this ‘death’ Ray had asked me about earlier on the boat. But he just continued to pack and left the room.

Roy left later that day as well.

THE END!

Tags | crazies, crazy
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31 Comments

  • Dalene January 13, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    That is nothing short of awesome. You can’t make that shit up!! Haha. Canadish.

    Reply
    • Hogga January 13, 2011 at 6:21 PM

      Haha I know! I need to write down peoples quotes more in general…

      Reply
  • Ayngelina January 13, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    Did you change your blog design, it’s not as awesome as you are…

    Reply
    • Hogga January 13, 2011 at 6:20 PM

      I knowwww 🙁 but my other theme had too many glitches in the backend, and this one is more SEO friendly and has more advertising space. Booooo. I’m a sell out haha

      Reply
  • Nicola January 14, 2011 at 6:39 AM

    Haha this is brilliant. I’ve met a LOT of crazies on my trip. I think I draw them in, they swarm me! x

    Reply
    • Hogga January 14, 2011 at 8:40 AM

      HAHA! They swarm you? That’s intense!

      Reply
  • Iain Mallory January 14, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    Wow that is sooo weird I have just read this blog by some guy in a prison cell in New Zealand:

    http://www.postcardsfrommycell.com

    in it he describes some meeting he had with a ‘crazy’ Canadish woman on a ferry once, who had no idea of geography.

    Some coincidence huh? 😉

    Reply
    • Hogga January 14, 2011 at 8:56 AM

      haha LIAR! Roy would not be capable of such things.

      Reply
  • Jayne January 14, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    I am so glad you wrote this conversation down coz you really can’t make people like that up!! How on earth did you stay in the same room as him? I wouldn’t have stayed in the same city.

    ‘Have you seen death?’

    Really? Just really?!

    Reply
    • Hogga January 14, 2011 at 11:43 AM

      I KNOW! I hardly saw him in the room, he was asleep by the time I got back to the hostel that night and left early morning while I was still sleeping.

      Reply
  • Jamie January 17, 2011 at 2:28 AM

    Dude that is soooooo funnny!

    I hope I meet him!

    Reply
    • Hogga January 17, 2011 at 10:45 AM

      J J J J UNIT!… why did you have to go and move to OZ when I came back to Canada? What’s your dilly?

      Reply
  • Jim February 3, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    Don’t tell me Roy was a Kiwi…. no don’t say he was… oh dear. Another crazy. Where do we get in contact?

    Reply
    • Hogga February 3, 2011 at 7:27 PM

      HAHA! He was a Kiwi!

      Reply
  • Abby June 6, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    Omg — both annoying and creepy all in one. So happy he left that day!!

    Reply
  • The Travel Chica June 6, 2011 at 9:24 PM

    I do not think “crazy” is the proper word to describe this guy. I don’t think there is a word.

    Reply
  • Federico June 7, 2011 at 10:54 PM

    I think I would have had a hard time talking with this guy for more than 5 minutes.

    Reply
    • Hogga June 8, 2011 at 9:11 AM

      He had a mullet… I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

      Reply
  • Erica June 13, 2011 at 3:07 PM

    HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. Love how you brought back seeing death. I luckily haven’t run into someone like that – almost, but I think you bring a new definition to crazy.

    Reply
  • Mica June 14, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    And this is why I can’t wait to travel with you. So you can write shit like this. YOU are fucking hilarious.

    Reply
  • Roy | cruisesurfingz June 21, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    I would like to just add that not all Roy’s from New Zealand are this weird. Pretty close though…

    Reply
    • Hogga June 21, 2011 at 5:24 PM

      Do you also have a mullet and wear short shorts? haha

      Reply
  • becci k July 2, 2011 at 7:46 AM

    haha I love it!! Mostly because he pretty much sums up every available bloke here in New Zealand!

    Reply
  • Anthony July 31, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    That was my brother.

    Reply
    • Hogga November 2, 2011 at 8:06 AM

      Story of your life!

      Reply
  • Aimee September 12, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    Omg, hahaha. too funny :))

    <3 this post!

    Reply
    • Hogga November 2, 2011 at 8:06 AM

      Yes, although it was quite torture at the time, it does make for an awesome post!

      Reply
  • Anthony July 6, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    *Head-Desk*

    Reply
  • Paul July 6, 2012 at 10:11 AM

    One word… Brilliant!

    Reply
  • Ian [EagerExistence] July 6, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    Roy sounds awesome!! You shoulda gone on the town with him Hogga… maybe there’d be a series in there.

    Reply
    • Hogga July 6, 2012 at 2:03 PM

      Ahhh yes, there was only so much I could take.
      He did text me a few times after that. Creepy texts. lol

      Reply

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    Ross French grew up outside Toronto, blah blah… he went to the University of Western Ontario for fine arts and like any degree, has since done nothing in that field. More seriously, Ross French is a travel junkie & a tech nerd with a slightly concerning love for beer & wine. he a has a great awareness of life outside the 9-5 and hopes to aspire to be a hammock bum one day.

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