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The Traveller World Guide | Best Travel Tips and Vacation.

Why Customs Blows

Travel Blog - Ross French - November 23, 2011

passport

By: Margyle

passportThere are certain aspects of trips that, if they were removed, would be greatly appreciated by every traveller out there. Now before you think I refer to those practices and traditions native to particular locales, which would sound like this: “Why do goobers in other countries need to do stupid and different things? Why can’t we all just be the same and do what I do?” let me assure you it is not. That being said, that is generally how I deal with differences that anger and confuse me, but that is a topic for a later day.

No, what I speak of are those glorified crossing guards known as customs agents, particularly in airports. I mean seriously, do you think waiting behind a line for an hour to be asked a series of mundane questions, stared at intensely, videotaped, finger printed and then disdainfully disregarded is the best way to welcome people to your country let alone protect against undesirables? I’m already on the ground – isn’t it a little late for that?

I was on my way home to Canada after spending a year in Tokyo teaching English. I had just departed a trans Pacific flight to Chicago where I would get a transfer to Toronto with a 1.5 hour layover. I thought I could probably make my flight but all that was thwarted when I rounded a corner and entered the queue for customs.

On the left side was the entry for American citizens; the right was for all us foreign devils. Now tell me if this makes sense – the American side had twice as many officers as the foreign side and half as many passengers. Wouldn’t it have made more sense for a flight originating from a non-English speaking country to have more people on the foreign side since it may take more time to get around the language barrier? No, of course not. The result was I was still halfway through the line an hour into waiting while the American side was empty and the agents were talking amongst themselves.

When I finally got to the front after waiting for 2.5 hours, I thought to myself ‘This better be worth it’. After all, I had witnessed those in front of me getting pictures taken, looking to the left, then to the right, standing on one leg while touching their nose with alternating index fingers and reciting the alphabet backwards to prove their worth to enter the U.S.A.

The agent beckoned me to come before him with a singular hand gesture. I placed my passport before him. With a ragged sigh that seemed to evacuate all hope from his being, he scanned my sacred document and flipped to the first page. Apathetically, he asked ‘Where are you coming from?’ I replied ‘Tokyo’. He then set down my passport and, without even looking up at my visage, replied with all the sincerity his profession and lot in life afforded him: ‘Have a nice day’.

Seriously?

That was it?

I had a friend coming home on the same flight but was a U.S. citizen and they were asked ‘Where are you coming from?’ and ‘How long were you there?’ before being wished a nice day. In other words, a Canadian is less of a threat to American security than an American citizen is.

The nerd in me used to enjoy customs for the stamps, but a lot of countries are just scanning them these days, bringing customs down yet another peg. How many times have you been through an airport and thought ‘Man, I wish I could be a customs agent – they are such, enthusiastic individuals who really take pride in their work!’ Never. Nobody has ever said that. They hate their lives and quite often you as a result.

There have been good experiences with customs, mostly those in New Zealand and Japan, but by far and away it is an inconvenience I wish I could avoid. I know why it is done. I know it serves a purpose and a slight hassle for some travellers to protect others from harm is warranted.

That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

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25 Comments

  • fotoeins | Henry November 23, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    At major entry points into the U.S., (e.g., Chicago O’Hare / ORD, Dallas-Fort Worth / DFW, etc.; namely, international hubs in the U.S. for that matter), passengers with Canadian passports can wait in the same line as US-passport holders at passport control. My understanding that with NAFTA in place Canadian passport holders (like those with U.S. passports) should not be photographed or fingerprinted at these entry points, even if they’re entering into the U.S. on international flights. This has been my past experience, after years living in Germany and Chile and the many many trips into DFW.

    Thanks for your post, Margyle – thanks for hosting, Jesu … er … Hogga!

    Reply
  • Ayngelina November 23, 2011 at 11:03 AM

    Customs pulled me aside the last time I came home because I didn’t have a job. They asked who bought my ticket and I said I did because I had money and they red flagged me.

    Reply
    • Margyle November 23, 2011 at 11:08 AM

      Haha oh I’m so sorry to hear that! Just another great story to add to the list eh lol

      Reply
    • Hogga November 23, 2011 at 11:18 AM

      HA! Seriously, wow.

      Reply
  • Margyle November 23, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    Yeah see that was my thinking too, but this is again another reason why customs blows – the people who work there do not care enough to provide that information regardless of situation. They wouldn’t let me over there and I didn’t want to press the issue when all I wanted to do is go home.
    Thanks for the input though… I’ll keep this in mind if I ‘have’ to go through the US lol

    Reply
  • Stephanie - The Travel Chica November 23, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    Customs agents just have so much power. It’s intimidating, and it shouldn’t be. I got stopped somewhere in Central America, and they were asking me what day I arrived in certain countries. I was off by a couple of days because what long-term traveler really can remember what day of the week it is, let alone specific dates of entry into the past 3 countries?!!

    I just smile and appear confused. That has worked for me so far.

    Reply
    • Hogga November 23, 2011 at 11:29 AM

      haha I do the same… alas they broke the zipper on my backpack leaving Margarita Island, Venezuela. They also took it upon themselves to just cut my sleeping bag from my backpack cause I had tied it together.

      Reply
    • Margyle November 23, 2011 at 1:06 PM

      Amen to that – nothing works like being polite. But I mean, who wouldn’t trust this face?

      Reply
  • Andrea November 23, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    Australia has a notoriously tough customs and border patrol – if you ever want to have a good laugh (or cry), watch the television show they made about it; reality TV with people getting busted.

    Reply
    • Margyle November 23, 2011 at 8:43 PM

      Hahah I know exactly what you mean! When I moved there a few years ago and endured the two-tier customs – particularly with the food restrictions/other prohibited items – and it was nuts! Coming and going. I mean I had no infractions and they were reasonably nice but I certainly felt guilty. Especially when I had an E-Visa and some agents looked at me like I was lying. JUST SCAN IT!

      Reply
  • Camels & Chocolate November 23, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Dude, we have had to go through customs in every country (well, obviously) that we arrive in via ship, and it’s even worse than airports. 900 people offloading and trying to do a face-to-face all at once? NOT FUN. Japan took us FOUR HOURS to clear the ship and be free to go! So much precious on-land time wasted in customs.

    Reply
    • Margyle November 24, 2011 at 12:14 PM

      Holy crap! Makes my airplane complaints seem a bit petulant. Even with all that, would you still prefer boat travel to airplane if given the choice for a reasonable destination?

      Reply
    • Janete May 24, 2012 at 4:56 AM

      Elia Perez Posted on Kim thank you! Lupus is not the end of the world. I fight and challenge myeslf daily. Sometimes to the point of exhaustion, but I NEED to squeeze everything I can out of my days! I have always been like that. To my family it is more significant now the cotributions I make to our family. Stay strong Sis!

      Reply
  • Renel M November 25, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    I can definitely relate because I am a US citizen and they drill so many questions and I felt that I was being interrogated.

    Reply
    • Margyle November 26, 2011 at 6:08 PM

      I know they have to do it and I’m glad something is done… I guess I just wish we could all be friends?

      Reply
  • Erica November 25, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    I cannot even tell you how much hell we have to go through coming back into the US. Not only are we asked about drugs EVERY time but one time an agent asked Shaun to strip so he could see his tattoos.

    Reply
    • Hogga November 27, 2011 at 2:08 PM

      WOW. that must be lots of fun for you guys!

      Reply
  • Margyle November 26, 2011 at 6:11 PM

    Wow that seems nuts. Kind of glad I’m un-inked!

    Reply
  • dtravelsround November 27, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    I always feel like I am going to get in trouble for something at customs. Even though I’ve never done anything, my heart beats all fast, I get all anxious. I’ve never had to wait that long to clear customs, but I have had the million questions (thanks, Heathrow lady).

    Reply
    • Hogga November 27, 2011 at 2:07 PM

      me too! then it makes us look all guilty, when really we’re just nervous because they’re scary haha

      Reply
    • Margyle November 28, 2011 at 5:01 PM

      Yeah I found London bad too… The whole ‘if you have nothing too hide, why are you afraid’ thing isn’t absolute

      Reply
  • Emily @ Maiden Voyage November 27, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    Oy vey. Customs is so frustrating. My worst customs experience in a while was this summer when we took a train from Seattle to Vancouver and back. We heard that if you rent a car and drive, the line at customs is horrible. We we took a train instead, but getting off the train took an hour because they released us car by car (and we were of course in the last) and everyone had to go through customs and get quizzed. We were just Americans going to Canada for a few days. I know it’s all for a good reason, but I agree that they often take it way too far!

    Reply
    • Margyle November 28, 2011 at 5:03 PM

      I guess when BC is the weed capital of Canada they can get a bit paranoid… But then again so are the people on it…

      Yeah, they should mellow out

      Reply
  • Nomadic Samuel November 29, 2011 at 8:44 PM

    I have enough stories over the years about customs I could write several posts. It’s so relieving just to get through without any problems.

    Reply
    • Margyle December 3, 2011 at 9:04 PM

      Amen to that. I’d love to hear some of them sometime!

      Reply

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    Ross French grew up outside Toronto, blah blah… he went to the University of Western Ontario for fine arts and like any degree, has since done nothing in that field. More seriously, Ross French is a travel junkie & a tech nerd with a slightly concerning love for beer & wine. he a has a great awareness of life outside the 9-5 and hopes to aspire to be a hammock bum one day.

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