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The Traveller World Guide | Best Travel Tips and Vacation.

How Dan Watson Almost Died in Costa Rica

Travel Blog - Ross French - July 17, 2012

By: Hogga

Dan-drinking-beersFinally, for once, my asshole friends came to visit me on a trip. One of these friends was Dan, a guy who I’ve known for many years. He’s like having an older brother who I party with and argue with on a regular basis. He’s also seen me cry a few times, the poor bastard.

He’s spent years of our friendship shoving away unwanted attention at the bar for me, often saving my ass. Although he does do this annoying thing, where he jumps in your cab at the end of the night, when he lives on the other side of town and somehow your $15 cab ride is $30 by the time you finally get home.

ANYWAYS, onto the story…
Dan arrived in Liberia, Costa Rica to do some wicked traveling with me. We walked around town a bit that day and picked up beers to get our party on.

Two of the guys I already knew from the hostelย  got their drink on with us and we all went out to a local disco. One of the dudes left and the other one claimed to have no money so we bought him a few more beers and ended the night with some delicious Big Macs. But, as Dan I went back to our room to shove the burgers in our food holes, the guy followed us. I just wanted to eat my burger and pass the fuck out so I said goodnight and closed the door.
A few minutes later, the guy knocked. I told him we were tired and going to sleep, ate my booger and went to wash up. When I got out of the single shared bathroom he was standing in the dark… waiting for me… like a creeper.
He got a little pushy trying to kiss me , but I was bigger than the poor midget so I face pushed him and went back to the room.

I told Dan, and like a boss he left the room to go take care of it. He found the guy by the front gate, opened it for him and said: “Dude, you gotta go”
The guy turned to him and said “You kick me out? I call my dad”
Dan: “Oh, you need a ride or something?”
Guy: “No, I call my dad. He come, he chop you up and kill you. Chop chop chop” (with hand motion of chopping) HA!
Dan: “Uh what?”
Guy: “Ya, he kill you”

Dan thought the guy lived in Liberia near the hostel, but he was from Guatemala. Oops!
When Dan came back in the room he was a little freaked out. Me? Honestly I couldn’t stop laughing when he told me.
We locked the door and soon enough Dan was out cold.
I heard a few more knocks on the door 10 minutes later and again 20 minutes later, but I ignored them.

We never saw the guy again… and I’m sure Dan is happy to have his body in one piece still.

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Ross French

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25 Comments

  • Avatar
    crazy sexy fun traveler July 17, 2012 at 8:36 AM

    Chop, chop, chop hahaha sounds funny to me! But poor Dan, must have been scared ๐Ÿ˜€

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 17, 2012 at 9:44 AM

      HAHAHA… yeah, it was pretty funny though. “Chop, chop, chop” became a recurring saying for the rest of our travels.

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Nomadic Translator @latinAbroad July 17, 2012 at 11:20 AM

    I couldn’t stop laughing, imagining the broken English & strong Spanish accent while saying SHOP SHOP SHOP! (that’s how we Latinos pronounce the English “ch”) XD

    -Maria Alexandra

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 17, 2012 at 11:49 AM

      HAHA yeah I think the language barrier didn’t help the situation either..

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Erik July 17, 2012 at 11:44 AM

    This is what you get for drinking with the mentally ill.. CHOP CHOP CHOP…

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 17, 2012 at 11:50 AM

      He seemed like a really nice and quiet guy!

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Heather - Ginger Nomads July 17, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    Chop chop chop. HAHAHA. Brilliant. I love central America where even the safe places are sketch.

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 19, 2012 at 4:00 PM

      The sketch is part of it’s appeal lol

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Margyle July 18, 2012 at 7:31 PM

    Sad thing is, this same situation has probably happened everywhere Hogga goes. She gets into trouble and her friends almost get chopped.

    The fact that it keeps happening is a testament to how awesome Hogga is.

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 19, 2012 at 3:58 PM

      It’s how I roll!

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Callie July 18, 2012 at 10:41 PM

    Hahaha “chop you up”?? Wow. And I like that he threatened to…tell Daddy. Poor bastard couldn’t even give his own death threat!

    I got creeped on like this in Turkey once – this guy snuck into my room while I was in the bathroom and stood there in the dark. He looked me in the eye, and despite barely speaking English, said in his best sexytime voice: “do you want to FLY tonight?” WHO learns that as one of their first English phrases?

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 19, 2012 at 3:59 PM

      SHUT UP! hahahahhahahahaha that’s the greatest thing I’ve ever heard!

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Toni July 19, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    So just a normal night for you and your friends then?! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 19, 2012 at 3:59 PM

      In all honesty… it’s actually not that much out of the ordinary.

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Tara July 23, 2012 at 1:36 PM

    Ah…this made me smile. This is the story you told me on the way to the airport in Liberia. Classic.

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 24, 2012 at 8:54 AM

      Hahahaha… ah yes! When we were going to pick up Lucy.

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Ayngelina July 23, 2012 at 1:59 PM

    Oh what a good friend, even if he is a bit of a pansy…chop…chop.

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 24, 2012 at 8:53 AM

      I’m sure you will meet him one day soon

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Arianwen July 23, 2012 at 9:53 PM

    Oh dear. You always have to be really careful who you bring back to your hostel room, but I’ve never heard of anyone threatening to get their dad to chop people up!

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 24, 2012 at 8:53 AM

      HAHA… it was a small hostel, he knew where our room was anyways.

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Gina July 25, 2012 at 12:16 AM

    Sheesh, sounds like a crazy end to the night. Glad Dan made it out alive. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Hogga
      Hogga July 25, 2012 at 8:27 AM

      Yeah, I think he will save his best friend duties for Canada only next time ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Audrey July 29, 2012 at 10:09 AM

    Whoa! That threat would have creeped me out a bit too. Time to leave the town!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Sandy Allain August 1, 2012 at 8:20 AM

    That dude is crazy to say he’ll call his dad and chop chop chop Dan. hahaha… also, desperate to kiss you.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Becky Padmore June 3, 2013 at 3:39 PM

    Oh god I’m planning a visit this year, I hope I don’t die ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
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    Ross French grew up outside Toronto, blah blahโ€ฆ he went to the University of Western Ontario for fine arts and like any degree, has since done nothing in that field. More seriously, Ross French is a travel junkie & a tech nerd with a slightly concerning love for beer & wine. he a has a great awareness of life outside the 9-5 and hopes to aspire to be a hammock bum one day.

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