People always associate Canada with being freezing cold, having lots of snow and ice hockey. But, what you may not realize (because you be stupid) is that most of Canada actually gets super hot for the few summer months that mother nature provides us with.
After being cooped up for all those below zero winter months, it’s time to get naked and bust a move in the sun when June comes around. Even some of us bold adventurers spend the long weekend in May camping. We call it “May Two Four”, it’s known as a party weekend to start the summer off, as a “Two Four” means a 24 case of beer and the long weekend is based around May 24th. Although it’s an exciting time as the snow has melted and flowers be a bloomin, it usually rains that weekend, leaving our tents wet and muddy, but we still do it, because we’re badass.
June to August is spent rushing out of the city towards cottages and camp grounds. But since every penis is trying to get out of the city, you may not arrive to your destination until an annoyingly late time. It sucks squirrel balls, but once you get a beer in ya and build a sweet-ass campfire, it’s all worth it – Especially when you wake up to the sound of the water, crack a beer, get a floaty boat or jump on some water skis.
Is that all you people Toronto do during the summer months? No, jackass, it’s not. There are so many biking, hiking and walking trails, you can hug trees all summer long. Just keep it in your pants.
There’s also crap loads of festivals and concerts in Toronto and surrounding area:
Pride Week: Rainbow coloured Toronto for a week! Plus there’s a parade, and who the fuck doesn’t like parades?
Ribfest(s): There are tons of these around Toronto in the summer. Stuff your food hole with ribs and drink beer.
Summerlicious: More food hole celebration, eat your way through the city.
Beerfest: Need I say more?
Buster Fest: Sit on a patio in St.Lawrence Market and watch street performers be awesome (and in some cases, creepy).
Others: Jazz Festival, Edgefest, Wakestock, TheEx, Canada’s Wonderland, Afrofest, Luminato and much more.
Lastly, don’t forget about patio beers. This is the default plan for spending time outdoors in Toronto for the following reasons:
1. Fuck ya, it’s sunny out. Let’s do patio beers.
2. None of my friends will invite me to their cottage. Let’s do patio beers.
3. I’m bored and thirsty. Let’s do patio beers.
4. I tried to plan a camping trip, but everyone flaked out. Let’s do patio beers.
5. I’m hungry. Let’s do patio beers.
6. I forgot to put on underwear today. Let’s do patio beers.
What happens in your hometown or country through the summer months?
It’s true.. It is stupidly hot here for how ball shrinkingly cold it gets a few months later. It always blows my mind though when you see the forecast on an international station and they have the whole world in Celsius but the U.S. in Fahrenheit and because Canada is shown in the same shot as our freedom loving neighbours, they think it’s cold here cause it says 35 in Toronto and 95 in New York City. They should really explain that…
Lesson of the day! I didn’t know that…
I must be pretty cool if TBEX decided to come there next year… Or are they coming just for the Hoggapocalypse ?
ARE YOU COMING???? They should rename it to Hoggasaurus festival
HAHA hilarious! gotta love those cold countries when summer really hits.. everyone gets naked and drinks!
And doesn’t everyone enjoy a little nudity?
Mmm, patio beers. Let’s be honest, TBEX 13 is really just going to be one long patio beer session.
Oh man… I still need to get my ticket!
It shall henceforth be called Hoggfest : all Hogga, all the gaw’dang time. Doooo eeeet. Naaaoooww.
… Someone, please, for the love of god, hand me a Blue or a Canadian …
It gets hot in Canada? 🙂 I was going to book a trip to Ontario for the fall and Scott said no because he said it’s fucking cold there in the fall. lol. I guess it looks like Canada will have to wait for TBEX time.
hahaha fall is quite chilly (depending on the month) but not that bad until late Nov. Fall is also BEAUTIFUL in Canada
That hocky picture makes me cringe. Ouch! And…I want to do patio beers!
I would totally love patio beers with you!
You crazy Canucks! In Columbus, we enjoy the good weather by hitting up the bars and restaurants with patios. Lots of outdoor concerts and theater performances in the parks. You can also ogle the Ohio State sorority girls laying out in bikinis on their lawn or roof.
My mom went to Ohio State!!! She was probably in a sorority too lol… I know she was a cheerleader….
TBEX is going to put TO on the map next year! I may even make a rare sighting in Canuckistan just for that 😛
You better come!!
This is getting a bit more svucejtibe, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of neighbors will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune Social is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.
Woohoo! While I’m not OFFICIALLY a Torontonian (being that my Canadian home is in little ol’ Unionville)… I can completely understand every last little point that you wrote about. Toronto has some fabulous patios! We should organize a TBEX patio sesh! 🙂
I have not seen you all summer, kinda my fault but also kinda your fault. Well mostly my fault.
Wait, y’all got milk in bags?