By: Jessica Kamikaze
I usually like to make bold generalizing claims or dole out unusual travel advice for the benefit of you fine readers, but this post is special. This post is where I get to ramble about people I’ve met who have pissed me off, irritated me or caused me minor inconveniences. Yes, friends, it’s time for ANNOYING TRAVELLING COMPANIONS THAT JESSICA WOULD LIKE TO GO KAMIKAZE ON!!
First, there was the man I met in Costa Rica when I was there with dearest mumsy. She overheard him speaking French with his wife and joined the conversation (my mom is from Quebec and fluent in French). From that point onward the annoying man insisted that I speak French ALL the time, and if I didn’t know a word he would hand me his French-English dictionary and go on about how he had learned Spanish in a few weeks just before his trip. What was my excuse? Why could I not speak French? I hate him.
I might have mentioned before that when I was in Japan I had the WORST roommate. She was never nice and whenever I tried to make conversation with her she would inevitably get upset about something; just an unpleasant human. When I arrived home work one day, she came storming out of the kitchen with a fork. She stuck it in my face, demanding: “does this look clean to you??” I don’t care how righteous your chore-rage is, you should be embarrassed at such a fork tantrum. One evening she didn’t approve of the outfit I was going to wear to the bar and she yelled from the kitchen “Jessica! How are you gonna go out like that? Your boobs don’t fit into that dress!” That’s just downright bitchy. So much so that her friend who was visiting demanded “Why are you SO MEAN to your roommate?!” I hate her.
I was at a resort in the Dominican Republic one time and I was just sitting at the bar, enjoying a beverage and talking to the girl behind the bar. A man sat down next to me – he was big and probably in his 70s – and joined the conversation. He was the worst. He just kept saying sexist shit and insinuating that women in the Dominican were poor and wanted his gross advances. I had a book with me so I left and read at a table a few feet away, but I could still here his old ass making loud claims about being a total mack all over the Caribbean. Then his date arrived – very young and very unable to speak English – and he put his hands down her pants, so I left. This man is not even worth my hate.
Don’t even get me started on the Mormon I met in New Orleans. That’s a story for another post!
Chore rage. Awesome…
I intend to make up more words all the time! That’s how you get famous on the internet, I’m pretty sure…
Hahaha. Your roommate sounds awful! And how weird that that guy made you speak French – seems like when you actually want practice speaking it, usually they just speak English! 🙂
I was recently staying at a guesthouse in Indonesia and there was an older Dutch couple staying next door – the wife came over at 4:30 in the afternoon (during a noisy, torrential rainstorm, might I add) to tell us to shut up, adding that she did NOT appreciate hearing the noise of my roommate and me ‘chattering’. We weren’t drunk or loud, and it was the middle of the day…ugh.
Uggghhhh, tooootally. My roommate also had ZERO tolerance for noise. That included evening skype calls to friends and family and putting the kettle on in the morning! Maybe we’re just really inconsiderate and we just don’t realize it? Hahahaha, I think not…
That’s it? It just shows that traveling life is just way to easy ;-). But ok, that room mate would definitely deserve a proper bitch slap…
Oh, you are so lucky you caught that “too” error before I did, Pal! xo
A Mormon in New Orleans? I know they are everywhere but there are things that Mormon saw in his time there that he’ll never be able to share back home!
HAHAHA, oh Jeremy. Please stay tuned for my Mormon story. He was pretty full of the big city spirit for a mild-mannered Mormon from Colorado (or Montana or something…some place with mountains…)
I wouldn’t even know where to start on this list, but most of them would have to be people I was unfortunate to share a dorm room with in hostels. One of the biggest reasons I don’t stay in dorms anymore!
Aw, Erik! Did someone try to put their hand down your pants? I’m glad you don’t have to share any more rooms with roomies and their wandering hands! xo
also, my captcha word was Rub. I’m uncomfortable.
RUBBBBBB!!! (I always forget about the stupid captcha and then I have to go back. I did it when I was trying to post this reply)
I’m down for some lobster and rubbing!
Your roommate story is the best 🙂 makes me wonder about that dress your boobs didn’t fit into 😉
My most annoying people are always touts. The worst one I met in Havana Cuba. Just thinking about him makes me angry 🙂
Haha, that story makes it sound like I can’t dress myself! I think she was just trying to make me feel bad because she’s a terrible person. I also just googled the term “tout”. I didn’t even know that such an annoying practice existed!
I got the meaning of your “dress story”, Hogga 🙂 no worries, i like your outfits on the pics 😉
“touts” are those locals who follow travelers trying to make them buy their services or stuff (souvenirs, handmade products, etc) or simply ask for money. They usually start with “hi, where are you from?” and when you respond they stick to you like a superglue.
HAHAHAHA… I’ll dress you.
I meant “Jessica’s dress story”. But ,you both are the best 😉
Oh wow! I think I need to write one of these posts too. I was sharing a dorm room in Santiago with an old guy from Guyana. He said he was a heart surgeon but I don’t believe it for a second. When he realised where my bed was, he said ‘Oh, that’s right next to mine. I could reach over and touch you in the night!’ Not cool…
BUHAHAHA. I met a guy who said he was a heart surgeon too, but I think I met him in Asia. Same guy possibly?
Oh man, so many pervy travelling heart surgeons!! Be careful out there, ladies and gents.
Your travel blog is strikingly different than others…. posts are truly entertaining, funny and cool.. .. i already spent quite some time reading your posts and now seems like i am going to book mark it… amazing stuff.
this is one of a risk when we stay with new people at same room 😀
yuck, these kind of people are way too common! I really can’t stand men who have no respect for women.
Although not one of the most annoying, but certainly one of the oddest dorm buddies I’ve met was a girl who started singing (some kind of Opera song) for me, sitting by the windowsill with all windows open to the street. She was actually pretty good at it, but it got a bit awkward when she just never stopped…
I had a roommate in Rio who apparently belonged to some weird sect and spent her days in the gloomy hostel room chanting prayers…in sunny Rio!!! Not my business how someone spends her holiday, but she woke up everybody at 5AM with her humming…She also talked a lot about her mother, emphasizing that she is NOT a prostitute even if people say so.
So yeah, go ahead, and tell us about that Mormon 😉
I love this! I seemed to have a magnet for meeting annoying people on my travels. Luckily they never managed to stick around to long though.
I have lived with many different people and I did some couchsurfing in the past so I totally understand how annoying people can be. Your roommate in Japan, wtf!!!?? She came storming out of the kitchen with a fork? SCARY!!!
I couldn’t refrain from commenting. Well written!