Posts for crazy

The Crazy Guy from New Zealand

Travel Tips - Ross French - January 13, 2011


wellington_new_zealandBy: Lindsay Hogg

Crazies Make for Great Stories!

I keep reading posts written by travel bloggers who have found themselves in the company of someone who may be referred to as ‘crazy’. I’ve finally come across one and written it word for word to share with all of you! You’re welcome…
I decided to travel from the south island, New Zealand, to the north island by ferry. Although at the time I vowed to never step foot on a boat again and search for cheap flights whenever I needed to get from A to B, but the experience made for such a good blog post! And I guess you can come across ‘crazies’ anywhere right?
I’ve met some out of control people through my travels, but no one compares to the dude I met on this ferry. He sat down beside me and once I realized how interesting our conversation was going to be, I pulled out my laptop and wrote it down, word for word.
It started out slightly innocent. He asked me where I was from and I told him I was Native to Canada. To which he replied:

“You Americans say such silly things, like ‘garbage can’ instead of ‘rubbish bin’.

I just laughed, and didn’t correct him that I am Canadian, not American. I assumed he wasn’t paying attention until he questioned me with THIS:

Roy: “So Canada’s it’s own country? It’s different than America?”
Me: “Yes, Canada is it’s own country”
Roy: “Can you drive to America from there?”
Me: “Yes, you can”

We chatted a bit more about how I was going home for Christmas and although I was excited to see family, I dreaded the snow and wished I could find a cheap flight to Alicante, Spain and soak up the sun for Christmas. After explaining to him where Spain was and that, yes, they do speak Spanish there he randomly asked me if I was  “scared when that big explosion happened?”  For a minute I thought I had missed something on the news and was unaware of something that had happened back in Toronto…

Me: “What explosion, was this recent in Canada?”
Roy: “You know in the city, that big attack, did you hear it?”
Me: “Are you referring to 9/11?”
Roy: “Yeah, that’s it! Those black guys attacking America”
Me: “Um, no… that was in America, I was still in Canada about 10 hours away”

Now, I don’t expect everyone to have a large geographical knowledge, but come on! Because this wasn’t entertaining enough, he then asked me about my travels and I somehow got on the topic of Peru…
Roy: “That’s the capital right?”
Me: “No, it’s a country, it has it’s own capital though”
Roy: “So what’s the capital then?”
Me: “What do you mean?
Roy: “What’s the capital of South America!?”

QUICK! Change topics!!! I thought it couldn’t get any worse, but this is what made me wish I was on a plane rather than this boat.

Me: “So, have you been anywhere outside New Zealand?
Roy: “I’ve been to Australia and I was supposed to move there for work but I won’t be able to right now”
Me: “Why can’t you move there?”
Roy: “Well I had a going away party a little while before I was supposed to leave and this guy was ‘getting all up in my dad’s face’ so I beat him up, really badly and now I might be going to jail for over 2 years.


Roy: “Anyways, you must have seen a lot of things on your travels around the world”
Me: “Yep, I’ve seen a lot of cool stuff, I’m not gonna lie!”
Roy: “Have you seen death?”
Me: “Huh? Do you mean, have i seen someone die?
Roy: “Yeah, have you seen death?”
Me: “Ummm no, a lot of mountains and stuff… different cultures, but no death”


The lovely Sussy

Our intellectual conversation was cut short due to our arrival in Wellington… BUT, since my luck was at an ultimate high, it turned out Roy was able to find me on the street and wants to stay at the same hostel! YAY!
He also wants to stay in the SAME ROOM!

I had to meet my friend Sussy about 30 minutes after I got to the hostel so I quickly started cleaning myself up, while putting on face cream, Roy informed me that I was putting on too much makeup. I told him not to worry, it was only face cream because my skin was dry.
He then asked where I was going and I told him I was going to meet my Finish friend Sussy.

Roy: “What is your friend finished?”
Me: “No, she’s FINISH, because she’s from Finland”
Roy: “So what does that make you, Canadish?”
Me: “Mmm… not exactly”

I went out with Sussy and came back sleepy/somewhat drunk and crashed.
At 3 am, the only other person in the room besides Roy and I happened to be a 45 year old Russian dude that began to rummage around in the middle of the night and when I opened my eyes he came close to my face and asked me what time it was. I heard a noise above me. It was Ray giggling.

Mr.Russian then woke up at 6am and began packing, to which Ray exclaimed:
“Shut the F&%$ up, you old ‘C’ word” (YEAH! the ‘C’ word… I KNOW!)

Mr.Russian GLARED at Roy for a few moments and I really thought I was going to experience this ‘death’ Ray had asked me about earlier on the boat. But he just continued to pack and left the room.

Roy left later that day as well.


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Travel Horror Story: My Stalker from Argentina

Travel Tips - Ross French - December 21, 2010

Travel Horror Stories is a column in which travellers submit scary, traumatizing, crazy or just flat out annoying tales from on the road. This Travel Horror Story is brought to you from Marcello at WanderingTrader. Check his site out! If you would like to share your horrific experience, please email

My Stalker from Argentina


Touring around town

Occasionally, travelling around the world, you run into one of those people who you know are somehow up to no good. While in South America recently, I ran across this dude. While I was walking around, viewing all the popular Argentina tourist attractions he was constantly on my tail. When I moved down a street he followed. When I stopped to take a picture he would stop as well. It makes you wonder what his intentions really were. Could it be he is after my new Canon Power-shot SX210 IS with 14.1 mega-pixels with an incredible zoom capacity? Does he want to talk to an obviously noticeable North American tourist? Maybe he fancied my pale white skin? Well, let me tell you, Mr. Creepy, this is not the way to do it. If you want to talk to someone, go right up and introduce yourself… don’t lurk in the shadows like some spooky spirit in a horror movie. If you want to rob someone, go ahead and try. There is no need to follow someone like you are an undercover agent out of a bad book that a former spook wrote after they left the government service. I might add, he was not a very good spy since I could monitor his every move by a quick glance.


My happy stalker

I snapped a picture of this kook because I thought that would let him know that I was on to him. It was to no availability the creepy crawler continued to follow me. I thought about going right up and confronting him about his bizarre and obvious behaviour but after taking another look, I decided against it. I approached some policemen thinking that would intimidate him. He dropped back, but returned a short time later. When I went into a shop he would enter or wait outside for me. I wish I could get this kind of meticulous attention from a girlfriend. My last girlfriend didn’t care where I went most of the time. She wouldn’t even follow me to the mailbox let alone down a street.

I stopped to watch some old geezers playing chess on the street. I wanted to wave to my new “companion” to come over and join me. But he kept his carcass just far enough away that I couldn’t talk to him without raising my voice. There are different stages you experience with a creep/stalker like this. First, you feel a bit of anxiety, then it becomes unsettling and finally, it is ridiculous and straight out annoying. You want to walk up and let your creeper know that you will pose so they can get a good look or snap a picture because that would last longer than the ghoulish stares.

I’ve heard crazy and weird stories from my friends in Argentina. In the end, you have to laugh these situations off and tell yourself ‘he is either a very poor thief because of the time he has foolishly invested’ or ‘he just finds you irresistible’. It is at this point, I decide to play with him. I dropped into a cafe for some lunch and as he passes by the window I just stuck my tongue out at him. I made sure my lunch was extra long. No problem down here – the millennium could pass and they wouldn’t bring you your bill unless you asked. That is, after waiting an eternity for some actual food to make it to your table.  Everything seems to be in slow motion once you enter one of these eateries. (By the way don’t eat the local mayonnaise it is absolutely revolting. Use the condiments licensed by Heinz or Hellman’s.) After spending a major portion of my life on lunch, the creepy guy has since moved on to a new victim.

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