Air conditioning is gold and you will sell your left tit to get some.
Bugs are big and you better just get used to it.
Don’t try hiking in the rain. It’s scary shit.
Just because beer is so cheap, doesn’t mean you have to drink it every day. Or does it? (This lesson is a bit blurry).
Pedestrians do not have the right of way. Unless they want to get hit by a car and die.
When someone gives you directions, the time the tell you it takes to reach your destination is never accurate. A 20 minute drive could be 5 minutes or one hour, it’s a clusterfuck of confusion.
Dancing is fun, but makes you very sweaty.
Crossing borders by foot is not as cool as it was when I was 25. It makes me want to punch people in their mind.
I still love me some latin men. Oh snap!
Refried beans straight from a packaged bag are delicious. There’s no need for a spoon, unless you’re a pussy.
Ice cold red wine is better than no red wine. But still gross.
If you ask someone a question in Spanish and they reply to you in English, it’s probably best to continue to the conversation in English instead of forcing them to try and figure out your crappy Spanish.
Good cheese is worth the money moneis, bitches.
Getting day drunk is totally acceptable. Pizza for dinner is encouraged after this.
A hat to avoid burning ones scalp is a priceless investment… that I never made.
The more you smile, the less people can be mad that your Spanglish is awful.
Kissing can be painful. Literally… keep those teeth in your mouth where they belong, buddy.