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The Traveller World Guide | Best Travel Tips and Vacation.

Your Sushi Blows

Travel Blog - Ross French - January 17, 2012

sushi

By: Margyle

sushiI swore I would never become that guy. You know, that douche who won’t eat something because it pales in comparison to the ‘real’ thing from its place of origin. I made a promise that I would sodomize myself with an old wooden spoon if I became that person because I didn’t want to live in that reality.

Well, lock the utensil drawer, because that day is now.

It started out so simple. Boy likes sushi. Boy eats boatloads of sushi to the disgust of his companions. Boy gets job in Tokyo. Boy discovers sushi kaiten (known in my circles as sushi-go-rounds). Boy gets call from ocean informing him they’ve run out of tuna. Boy returns home and revisits site of original sushi-glutton-fest. Boy becomes douche.

Somewhere around step three I realized I was screwed, but even still, some naïve part of me wanted to believe I would not utter those six snobby words:

“It isn’t as good as Tokyo.”

Looking back on it, I couldn’t help it. I mean seriously, even the worst sushi I had in Tokyo was still better than anything else. My home is landlocked, whereas Tokyo is seaside – you figure it out. Sure, they try to make up for it by putting western spins on the Asian classic, including crispy spicy rolls and rolls stuffed with savoury sauces, but they just can’t compete. Even after eating it for a few years, the Tokyo memory still haunts me, teases me even, having melded into my mind into some mythical, unattainable symphony arranged by a fishmonger and then composed by some samurai looking guy. Bastardu!

It doesn’t stop there either, as I feel that way about pad thai, tom yum soup and gelato. Are these places out to screw me? I can’t live in all of them and I’m too poor to fly there every time I get a craving. I feel like walking into every restaurant that ‘serves’ that ‘food’ and tell them to stop wasting everybody’s time and just open a spaghetti restaurant – it’s nigh impossible to mess that up – so they’ll please stop raping my favourite foods.

I will admit though, the douchiness does wear off over time. After a few years and dozens of tear soaked pillows later, the desire for what truly made you happy does lessen. Now it’s more like you found your true love, lost it, then settled for a distant second that only ranks that high because you’re imagining your true love while you’re with them.

So the next time someone acts the snob regarding food, remember, they’re not trying to be blowhard show offs – they’re merely nursing a broken heart. Your sushi doesn’t blow, but rather they blow for letting it get away.

Oh, and your sushi does blow.

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22 Comments

  • fotoeins | Henry January 17, 2012 at 2:09 PM

    Cushion the blow in four easy steps:

    1. Express verbally how the sushi blows … done.
    2. Express verbally how one should go back to Japan.
    3. Actually going back to Japan.
    4. Express with delight how the sushi in Tokyo … doesn’t blow.

    Reply
  • Erica January 17, 2012 at 9:13 PM

    Then I’m the biggest douche there is around. I went to Japan 3 1/2 years ago and I’m still in that, “OMG this suck freaking BLOWS” stage. It pales in comparison.

    AND OMG. GET THAT CREAM CHEESE OFF.

    Reply
    • Margyle January 18, 2012 at 9:10 AM

      I lived a 3o minute train ride from Shinjuku and whenever the craving hit (which was pretty often) I’d go in after work. Even if it was only for 4 or 5 plates… that tuna just melts in your mouth.
      …sigh

      Reply
      • Hogga January 18, 2012 at 12:56 PM

        Is that where you took me? and I was grumpy because I was tired? lol

        Reply
        • Margyle January 21, 2012 at 10:57 AM

          Exactly. That was kind of a running theme with you though lol

          Reply
  • dtravelsround January 18, 2012 at 12:11 AM

    So. True. I had the best sushi ever in the airport in Narita, which I am sure doesn’t even hold a flame to the sushi once out of a transportation hub. Same for Thailand. I found one restaurant recently that was close to as good as it was in Thailand. But, for the most part, travel has pretty much ruined the American versions.

    Reply
    • Margyle January 18, 2012 at 9:12 AM

      Yeah Narita’s stuff isn’t bad just for a quick stop over. Actually, their ramen is pretty kickin too. One thing I never did that I regret is going to the fish auction at like 4am and having sushi after they auction off the days catch and you get it… well.. pretty much as fresh as can be.
      Next time!

      Reply
  • Annie January 18, 2012 at 12:26 AM

    Haha, oh no. This is me when it comes to Italian food. I’ll admit that in Italy I complained (every now and then, not always) because I was yearning for a little kick. Now, I’m kicking myself for not savoring it more. Sorry to say it but the Aussies…. they just don’t know what pizza even is.

    Reply
    • Margyle January 18, 2012 at 9:04 AM

      The funniest is having Japanese lasagna… its like a watery soup.
      I ate at some real dives in Italy, but the very idea of walking into Pizza Hut and having whatever I order resemble anything close to what it should be is laughable. I actually think I just threw up a bit in my mouth…
      I had these wood fire pizzas in this place just beside the Vatican museums that was wicked… and pretty cheap… and just seconds from my B&B.
      Oh damnit, now I want it…

      Reply
    • Hogga January 18, 2012 at 12:58 PM

      Same with me Annie… even though I haven’t even been to Italy lol… I have some Italian and Greek friends, pizza and salad other places kills my soul.
      PS. The Aussies and Kiwi’s pizza isnt as bad as some other countries… but what’s with the BBQ tasting tomato sauce???

      Reply
  • Rachael Sena January 18, 2012 at 7:02 PM

    I think you’ll find the saddest interpretation of sushi at supermarkets. There’s just something unnatural of not having the sushi freshly prepared in front of you.

    Reply
    • Hogga January 19, 2012 at 5:07 PM

      That’s so true… I worked in a supermarket in highschool and the sushi guy would come once a week to stalk the sushi table. Even one day old sushi can be icky a lot of the time let alone a few days old. ICKY

      Reply
    • Margyle January 21, 2012 at 10:47 AM

      Funny thing is, they have sushi in supermarkets in Japan and it’s not freshly prepared in front of you… and it’s fine! The best is going there at the end of the day when it’s marked down by 50%, but the trick is getting it before other similar minded people do.

      Reply
  • Alouise January 19, 2012 at 9:44 PM

    I’ve never been to Japan but I definitely have some high expectation for sushi when I go there. Of course I live in Alberta, so getting good sushi is pretty hard. I mean I’ve had ok sushi hear, but I’m sure, compared to Japan, that it blows.

    Reply
    • Margyle January 21, 2012 at 10:50 AM

      Yeah probably… I mean I don’t want to build up your expectations too much but it is pretty awesome… so long as you don’t go to the obviously discount sushi places, which even then are better than most stuff you get around here. You can probably get wicked stuff in Alberta, so long as you’re willing to pay through the nose for it. I have a friend in Colorado who said he once went to a sushi place that was $75 a person… but it was good. Damn well better for that money!

      Reply
  • Average Traveller January 19, 2012 at 11:37 PM

    It’s all true in part because places outside of North America care more about freshness and seasonality than ‘supermarketability’. Having said that, the food experience influences our taste perception and memories. I’d bet if I ate the exact same lampredotto at home that I fell in love with in Florence it probably wouldn’t taste as good.

    Reply
  • Margyle January 21, 2012 at 10:55 AM

    Absolutely – there are so many factors that go into making the perfect food experience. And you’re so right about obsessions with freshness and seasonality – we want it all year round, many other places only when it’s in season. There’s a very popular alcoholic drink there called Chu-Hi that is fruit juice and sho-chu alcohol, and only has certain flavours available when they are in season – so if you like one, stock up for when it goes away. When most of my Japanese friends would talk about food, the first thing they would mention is how fresh it was, almost like taste came second (which obviously is the opposite here and probably the reason for our obesity problems!)

    That being said, they will line up for hours for Krispy Kreme doughnuts and hit up McDonalds at night… so they’re not perfect lol…

    Reply
  • Abby January 21, 2012 at 12:51 PM

    Erica, the cream cheese they put on sushi in Latin America about did me in. If I have to say “sin queso” one more time!! Very funny post. I am guilty to being a food snob sometimes. Pretty ballsy from a girl who can’t cook.

    Reply
    • Margyle January 22, 2012 at 7:34 PM

      You don’t have to be good at something to critique others… Fox has an entire network dedicated to employing people who specialize in that!

      Reply
  • Federico January 21, 2012 at 7:10 PM

    As Abby says here in Mexico sushi always has to have cream cheese, always! This said it does taste good…

    Reply
    • Margyle January 22, 2012 at 7:35 PM

      Haha just as long as someone likes it!

      Reply
  • Nomadic Samuel January 30, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    I’ve been spoiled rotten with great sushi (different Korean name) having lived in Korea for a while. I can certainly tell the difference now between what is good and what isn’t.

    Reply
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    Ross French grew up outside Toronto, blah blah… he went to the University of Western Ontario for fine arts and like any degree, has since done nothing in that field. More seriously, Ross French is a travel junkie & a tech nerd with a slightly concerning love for beer & wine. he a has a great awareness of life outside the 9-5 and hopes to aspire to be a hammock bum one day.

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