Bitch, what you be talking about Hogga? Are you calling me flaky, just because I travel?
Okay, maybe not all travelers are flaky, but I’m starting to think a lot of us long term ones have some issues with commitment. And perhaps flaky isn’t the right word, but we can be a few things: flighty, indecisive, slightly unreliable, commitment phoebes and so on.
I certainly know I am and don’t want to speak for a whole group of people, but the more I connect with other long term travellers, the more I have the same sort of conversation with them about not knowing what to do, where to go or what they want.
As people who live in the now, each day to the max, it begins to make us (I mean me, I will try not to speak for ALL travellers throughout this article) unable to commit and unable to make concrete decisions.
I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life as I was about quitting my job and backpacking around the world for a year about 3 years ago. (Ballsacs I’m getting old!). But now, I can’t decide where to go if my life depended on it. This has begun to seep into all aspects of my life. It’s no longer just a question of where to live, to travel or to settle for a bit.
It’s now a maximized flakiness in my daily life:
Should I date him? Do I really like him that much?
Should I go to party A or party B?
Do I want to watch TV of a movie? Shoes or boots?
Holy Shit Hogga!
Even if one of my friends ask me to dinner, I often can’t just say ‘YES’. I reply with a “maybe”. I’m terrified of committing to something and making the wrong decision because I remember how much work it was to sell everything in my apartment 3 years ago.
I’ve made a conscious effort to try and just ride the wave, live in the now, worry about the present rather than future. But sometimes it gets hard and I have an ‘episode’.
Do you find it hard to make concrete decisions in life with travel always on your mind?
Yeah I get what you’re sayin. You’d think it’d make you more decisive cause you know what you want but now that I see what else is out there, it makes me wonder if there isn’t something better or different that might come up?
I’d say I just shut that part of my brain off with a tall cold one, but then I wouldn’t ever do anything…
I get this and relate to it–definitely. And I see it all the time. People want to try to avoid ‘committing to the wrong thing’ and to do so, the ‘keep all their options open.’ While it makes sense at times and on some level, for sure, to do it all the time can be a problem. Some people are so flaky, they can’t even commit to a time to chat on the phone!
I do think, like you’ve said, it’s a form of commitment phobia. And I’ve met many travelers who have it. I’ve also met non-travelers with it, too.
Speaking for myself- no, I’m not flaky, and I would say the number of flaky people who are travellers are less than the general population…
Don’t compare yourself to the “general population.” You are the general population.. So am I. There is no they; only us. Face you fear of commitment. I have.
I’ve been asking myself this question lately too…when i left home a year and a half ago I thought by now I would have some more direction on what I wanted to be doing/where I wanted to be. Now, though, it seems like I’m even less sure of myself than I was back then, and don’t really know what to do… :/
I’m not flakey… at least about the things I want to do lol. Like, if I appear wishy washy it’s probably because I would rather not do something… so you’d better convince me and make it awesome or I will not be very pleasant to be around…
I find myself not buying tourism/music festival tickets or concert tickets 5 months in advance any more, for not knowing which country I will be in in 5 months time. By flaking out, am I sucking at being home? What if I’m here in 5 months, and not going to that epic concert/tourist event that all my friends are going to? That’s my little flaky moment for the evening.
I’m definitely with you on that! It takes me the best part of half an hour to fully commit to posting a facebook status xx
No point being flakey! Gotta get out there and take what you want out of life! But yeah, Tony Robbens style self confidence boost attempt aside, I know what you mean.
Are you writing more posts about me? At least this time you didn`t use my name…
I long for a time where I can make flaky decisions. Sometimes it is good to be unsure about whether you can follow through; instead of the boring routine of commitment!
I’m one of those travel people, but I’m old. So now I have to be all responsible and shift, and I miss the days of being flaky. Flake on my friend, flake on!
I meant I have to be all responsible and shit… not shift.
Oh god yes. I am such a total commitophobe. I seriously cannot commit to anything. I had to sign up to a 2 year phone contract the other day (part of my job) and I almost had a heart attack. The one saving grace was for £100 I could be contract free. That is what is keeping me sane through the ordeal.
It doesn’t matter that I am HAPPY with my life right now the thought of HAVING to commit to it scares me. I like knowing I only have to give 30 days notice etc. The only thing I committed myself to in the last 3 years to is my brand of foundation. It’s brilliant. But you know I can leave it anytime.