• Home
  • About Us
    • Who We Follow
  • Destinations
    • Africa
    • Asia
      • China
    • Australia
    • Central America
    • Europe
    • Middle East
    • North America
    • South America
    • Oceania
  • Travel Blog
  • Travel Tips
  • World Photos
  • Contact
    • Advertise

The Traveller World Guide | Best Travel Tips and Vacation.

Can You Have A Relationship And Be A Long Term Traveller?

Travel Blog - Ross French - September 12, 2011

boobs

By: Lindsay Hogg

Oh, summer love… My parents never took my sisters and I on exciting holidays to Sharm el sheikh, but they did take us to resorts in Montreal and Vancouver. We vacationed around Canada or visited family in Ohio (a state populated with approximately 5 people and 15 cows).

When I was a young teen, my vacay consisted of making new friends and falling in love with a boy. We held hands and kissed, but both parties were aware that at the end of the week, month or summer, the romance ends. Sure, there were tears shed sometimes, but you get over it fast when school starts again.

boobsWhich brings me to my question, what’s with people getting so attached while traveling and dating? Is it because we’re older and people are becoming more desperate with the tick tock of their life passing by? Maybe I’m just cold hearted, but I go into these things with one foot out the door already. I’m a traveller and I’m aware that on the road relationships will eventually come to an end. I’ve always wondered how many people meet each other travelling and actually stay together. I’m a realist, but I still like to think it’s possible.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in romance, but I’m also a realist and don’t like to waste my time. I seem to find myself getting talked into relationships quite often only to have it end as most traveller relationships do. Since we have nothing better to do with our time when travelling, we spend almost every moment with someone we like. We hump, share some spiritual or emotional moments, then eventually part ways. Eventually you part ways, again there’s some ‘water works’ and the (I miss you) emails follow for days after. As time passes, the emails become less and further apart until you simply have another Facebook friend, who you never talk to. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, but this process of occurrences is fairly standard.

Years ago, I tried a few long distance relationships and they didn’t end very well. Which leads me to the problem, as avid travellers, how do we maintain a relationship? Is it even possible? Or should we just accept that if we want to travel long term, a relationship may not be possible for us.. Personally, I don’t accept defeat that easily, but I also don’t know if I will ever travel long term again.

 0 56

Share This Post!

About Author / Ross French

56 Comments

  • Mica September 12, 2011 at 11:37 AM

    *Gasp* Not ever travel long term again? Whaaaat? What happened to you, me and Peru? Maybe it’s the younger travelers who fall in love a little more easily, or think that it might last because they have not had enough time to have racked up shitty travel relationships yet. I think when you get older you obviously gain experience so you can be more realistic about things. Of course, falling in love happens all the time and there are a ton of bloggers who met on the road and want to make it work, and they do. It all depends on the person, I guess. I hope you would think you could travel and have love-I think we should be able to do it all! Love you Hogga!

    Reply
    • Hogga September 12, 2011 at 11:43 AM

      Haha, well that’s being an expat really… I would still go live somewhere different but I wouldn’t travel day to day for more than a few months. A year of it was long enough lol.

      Reply
  • Mica September 12, 2011 at 11:40 AM

    Oh yea, and I forgot to add that I am a long-term traveler, which you already know, and I have an awesome relationship with a geeky dude who I get to travel with sometimes. So, its possible. Even if you poop on him in the process.

    Reply
    • Hogga September 12, 2011 at 1:08 PM

      gross ha

      Reply
  • Kelly September 12, 2011 at 1:06 PM

    10 points for using the word “hump” in a blogpost!! Impressive!

    Reply
    • Hogga September 12, 2011 at 1:08 PM

      haaaaah. I just high fived myself in starbucks.

      Reply
    • Nomadic Samuel September 12, 2011 at 6:54 PM

      I think you ought to get 20 points 😛 I do agree with you though that travel relationships are often like disposable sanitation papers.

      Reply
      • Lindsay aka @TheHogga September 13, 2011 at 8:27 AM

        haha eeeeep!

        Reply
  • JL September 12, 2011 at 3:43 PM

    This would be my answer ; ) Please take a look NON – Believers ! http://seecolombia.travel/blog/2011/07/a-travelers-love-story-the-perfect-wedding-proposal-mine/

    Reply
    • Lindsay aka @TheHogga September 13, 2011 at 8:27 AM

      I love it! This made my day 🙂

      Reply
  • Margo September 12, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    I think in general, people who are “on the go” are by definition not into commitment. — but as a romantic at heart, I believe anything is possible. Trust and a mutual understanding about the definition of what “being in a relationship” means are imperative. Especially the trust part.. and wanting to trust is different than trusting 🙂

    Reply
    • Lindsay aka @TheHogga September 13, 2011 at 8:28 AM

      wow, fantastically put!

      Reply
  • Erica September 12, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    I just drag mine along with me but we’re… different than most. 😛

    Reply
    • Lindsay aka @TheHogga September 13, 2011 at 8:29 AM

      Do tell…

      Reply
  • Cherie @Technomadia September 13, 2011 at 12:32 AM

    Just over 5 years ago, while doing a bit of traveling myself while keeping a homebase, I met this full time traveling guy. We fell in love and felt our lives aligned.

    I joined him on the road to try it out and eventually sold my homebase. We’re still on the road together – loving life, loving each other and doing awesome things.

    So count us as having met on the road, fallen in love and committed to life partnership (and travel) together.

    It can happen 🙂

    Reply
    • Lindsay aka @TheHogga September 13, 2011 at 8:29 AM

      Awww that’s amazing!

      Reply
  • Abby September 13, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    I think it is sooo ridiculous and immature when I hear girls gushing about a guy on the road weeks later! Or they ask me if I’ve heard from so-and-so, I’m like no, and they look at me with pity. Um, why should I have heard from him?

    Reply
    • Hogga September 14, 2011 at 8:43 AM

      haha… some people are needy

      Reply
  • Abi September 13, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    Girls, you make me feel left out. I married my long distance relationship 😉 And, er, I’ve carried on travelling so it’s still kinda long distance 😉

    Reply
    • Hogga September 14, 2011 at 8:44 AM

      Left out? Of traumatizing experiences lady! You are NOT missing out on anything haha.

      Reply
  • Nomadic Matt September 13, 2011 at 4:26 PM

    Nope! Not unless it’s with another long term traveler.

    Reply
    • Hogga September 14, 2011 at 8:45 AM

      What if you don’t want to go to the same places? Or travel together, but that’s a lot of time spent together early in a relationship.

      Reply
      • Edna February 4, 2012 at 10:46 AM

        It’s an easy litmus test for a relationship, traveling — my boyfriend and I started traveling together only after a couple weeks of dating, and we’re still going strong a year later. It’s a sink or swim situation almost immediately, which I appreciated — why waste your time and find out after two years the person isn’t right for you, when you can know after just a couple weeks or months? Also, re: Matt’s comment, I don’t believe it has to be with just another long term traveler, but that’s a separate post…. 🙂

        Reply
  • Camels & Chocolate September 15, 2011 at 8:16 AM

    Well, I had a long-distance relationship that carried over from my time living in Holland and Denmark back to the States when I returned to NYC….aaaaand now I’m married to him. So perhaps you should become a believer, too, Hogga 😉

    Reply
  • Appu September 16, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    I agree with your post.
    The question is:
    Tourist or Traveler?
    I guess there is difference between tourist and a traveler. If both are tourist tough to have relationship for longer time but maybe with a traveler chances are better.
    Maybe I am wrong but I guess. Good post. Keep writing.

    Reply
    • Hogga September 22, 2011 at 10:40 AM

      Good insight Appu, thanks.

      Reply
  • Sandra in Sweden September 18, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    Hey, I will have you know as a former Ohioan, there are also cornfields there.
    As for the relationship, travel with him!

    Reply
    • Hogga September 22, 2011 at 10:39 AM

      HAHA… yes, I’ve done my fair share of ‘hide and go seek’ in those cornfields.

      Reply
  • Stephanie - The Travel Chica September 19, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    I cannot even begin to answer such a complicated question. I can tell you that my desire to travel long term has ended relationship, and I have also learned some tough lessons about and had some great experiences while traveling.

    Reply
    • Hogga September 22, 2011 at 10:38 AM

      I just don’t date people haha… then I can do what I want all the time

      Reply
  • dtravelsround September 21, 2011 at 10:15 PM

    I’ve met some good ones … but nothing I would ever expect to be anything. It’s like the idea of a “girl in every port.” Every town there is someone new … and I wouldn’t expect those butterflies to carry beyond the city I am in with the guy.

    Reply
    • Hogga September 22, 2011 at 10:35 AM

      Good for you. Sometimes people get to easily swept up in the moment and don’t think realistically… that being said, there is always a chance for romance to last longer than the few weeks you were there..

      Reply
  • Erik September 23, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    When I got married (to a complete non-traveler) we came up with an agreement that so far has worked pretty well. She agreed not to ask me to give it up (she knew that wouldn’t happen) but asked me to shorten the length and frequency. When I was single I went three times a year most years and spent as much as 12-16 weeks on the road. Now I go twice at most and try to keep it under 6 weeks (although I think I can get away with 8).

    So far it is going well, but the verdict is not in on whether this will work long term…

    Reply
    • Hogga October 6, 2011 at 4:45 PM

      Sounds good to me! I’ll keep that in mind for when I find Mr.Right haha

      Reply
  • Jeremy October 9, 2011 at 9:45 PM

    You know my story, but I’ll share for everyone else.

    I planned a 12+ month long-term trip, and shortly after starting to plan got in to a relationship. 2 years later I was about to go, and she told me I should go. We were long-distance that whole time anyway, so being halfway across the world was not too different than being away 4 hours, but more difficult. We decided for her to come visit a few points in the trip, but as it got closer we decided that I’d just come home with her the first time she came out (5 months in). She came, I proposed, and we’re home now.

    My demands for coming home? We do a year abroad in a few years after we save money, and we try out for the Amazing Race. Saving for the first, waiting for next rounds of the second. Yup!

    Reply
    • Hogga October 11, 2011 at 8:10 AM

      I heart this story so much.

      Reply
  • crazy sexy fun traveler October 13, 2011 at 3:30 AM

    Hm this is very difficult! I found out I hate long-distance relationships but short term can be fine.

    Reply
    • Hogga October 13, 2011 at 7:13 AM

      Yeah, I’m not very good at those either

      Reply
  • Jeremy Branham October 24, 2011 at 11:28 AM

    Interesting perspective on long term relationships and travel. Fortunately, I never had to deal with any of that. I never hooked up or had any relationship while traveling. Granted, my life is different and I started my travels overseas later. The longest I would be gone is a month because I work now. However, it’s very interesting to hear everyone’s stories and opinions on this.

    I am glad there are those who have made this work for their relationships!

    Reply
    • Hogga March 9, 2012 at 4:36 PM

      I know! It’s pretty helpful to know others have made it work. I guess it just takes two sometimes and if it’s not right, it wouldn’t work whether or not you’re on the road.

      Reply
  • Guest Post: How Travel Bloggers Talk About Sex - Aussie on the Road November 23, 2011 at 6:05 PM

    […] “Since we have nothing better to do with our time when travelling, we spend almost every moment with someone we like. We hump, share some spiritual or emotional moments, then eventually part ways”. Read in full. […]

    Reply
  • Vi December 13, 2011 at 4:04 AM

    I think you should travel together with your partner or just forget it. You need real person siting next to you, but not some virtual guy/girl in another corner of the world.
    Of course there are exceptions, but it is so rare.

    Reply
    • Hogga March 9, 2012 at 4:33 PM

      It’s true. It would be great if I could find another digital nomad… but its’ quite rare…

      Reply
  • crazy sexy fun traveler December 20, 2011 at 2:06 AM

    There are couples for which it does work, but I don’t want a long distance relationship and haven’t found a great man to travel with me so far! Difficult one, tho!

    Reply
    • Hogga March 9, 2012 at 4:32 PM

      I know, same here… I have hope, but haven’t had much inspiration from the men I’ve met on the road so far. I do love me some Latin and Kiwi boys though!

      Reply
  • Bula @ The Irreverent Traveller March 8, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    I met my boyfriend on the second day of my trip. He is an ex-pat in Korea; I was there for a short time before I went to travel for a year. We felt such a strong connection that I went against my normal rules that don’t believe in long-distance relationships and we gave it a go. I came back a few months later and lived in Seoul for two months. Left again. We have met up in Hong Kong, Taiwan, Vietnam, and soon India. It’s been almost a year. And in the fall, we’re moving to Toronto together. So anything is possible! Sparkles and love and rainbows and happy feelings!

    Reply
    • Hogga March 9, 2012 at 4:30 PM

      That’s super inspiring! I love hearing about people who have had travel relationships work out. Gives me hope to find Mr.Right… but I’ll stick with Mr.Right-Now for the time being haha

      Reply
  • Rhonda June 4, 2012 at 9:16 PM

    Loved this post.
    Living in Taiwan I tended to avoid dating because #1, I was doing a bit of cliched soul searching (think Eat, Pray, Love–yeah, I know!) and #2, most of the guys weren’t my cup of tea. I did date a few locals but for the most part I wanted to be single. I met a ton of foreigners though who latched onto others from the start, jumping around from person to person until they left the country.

    People encouraged me to have scandalous flings all the time but that just wasn’t me.

    It would be nice to think that some people who meet while traveling stay together though.

    Reply
  • Larissa July 24, 2012 at 7:32 AM

    Have yet to meet a handsome fellow I can take with me everywhere so for now am just maintaining a few stationary ones in various ports around the world. Ricky Nelson might call me a Travelin’ Woman.

    Reply
    • Hogga July 24, 2012 at 8:52 AM

      I’m not good at maintaining either. I don’t have the patience for it.

      Reply
  • Micamyx|Senyorita August 28, 2012 at 5:52 PM

    I haven’t been to a serious relationship so I wouldn’t really know. Based on some of my traveler friends’ experience, it is best to lower down your expectations and be realistic. For now, I choose to travel and meet more people. I know that the time will come for me to settle down and start a family. Just not now. Not yet, but it will happen.

    Reply
  • Tom @ Waegook Tom November 12, 2012 at 10:02 AM

    Funny that I’ve come across this tonight as I was contemplating it on the bus ride back to my bf’s place. Me and the bf are going to be apart for anything between 5-7 months while I’m travelling solo next year. We’ve been together almost two years and are pretty solid at communicating – we managed one month apart no problem in January, but five or more…wondering how that’ll work. I think travelers who are already in relationships can maintain it while on the road (or at least I hope so) but those in new relationships or temporary ones while travelling…I’m more skeptical.

    Reply
    • Hogga January 6, 2013 at 11:28 AM

      WOW, that’s hard, but I generally believe that if it’s meant to be, it will work itself out.

      Reply
  • Kristin Addis March 7, 2013 at 10:49 PM

    Ugh. I can confidently, and paifully, say NO, given I have tried it and failed miserably.

    Reply
  • Ceri January 6, 2014 at 3:12 PM

    I know you wrote this over 2 years ago but, god, I resonate with it so well.

    In the last three years there have been 4 men. Two of whom, I’ve handled pretty well because I always knew I was leaving anyway. The other two I fell for way too hard and was even willing to give up my traveller lifestyle for (except they didn’t feel the same way so boo me). 😛 It’s hard. I need a change of gameplan.

    Reply
  • Vikas Nehra April 2, 2014 at 7:54 AM

    WOW! fantastically put! its Greta …

    Reply
  • Leave a Reply Cancel Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Previous Post
    Next Post

    About Me

    About Me

    Ross French grew up outside Toronto, blah blah… he went to the University of Western Ontario for fine arts and like any degree, has since done nothing in that field. More seriously, Ross French is a travel junkie & a tech nerd with a slightly concerning love for beer & wine. he a has a great awareness of life outside the 9-5 and hopes to aspire to be a hammock bum one day.

    More

    Hand Picked Posts

    • Sun Shine Quotes Travel Tips

      150 Inspiring Sun Shine Quotes to Brighten Your Day and Light Up Your Life!

      March 18, 2023
    • Fund Your Retirement Travel Blog, Travel Tips

      Best Practices for Using Home Equity to Fund Your Retirement So You Can Travel

      March 15, 2023
    • Things to Do in Vancouver Canada, Travel Blog, Travel Tips

      Top 30 Things to Do in Vancouver, Canada in 2023

      March 11, 2023
    • Ski and Snowboard Tips Travel Blog, Travel Tips

      5 Essential Ski and Snowboard Tips for Beginners

      March 9, 2023
    • Best Places to Visit in the USA in December Travel Blog, USA

      Best Places to Visit in the USA in December

      March 2, 2023

    • Sun Shine Quotes
      150 Inspiring Sun Shine Quotes to Brighten Your Day and Light Up Your Life!
    • Fund Your Retirement
      Best Practices for Using Home Equity to Fund Your Retirement So You Can Travel
    • Things to Do in Vancouver
      Top 30 Things to Do in Vancouver, Canada in 2023
    • Ski and Snowboard Tips
      5 Essential Ski and Snowboard Tips for Beginners
    • Best Places to Visit in the USA in December
      Best Places to Visit in the USA in December

    Follow me on Twitter

    Tweets by @worldguideblog

    Alison is a creative soft blog theme made with by angrygorilla. Shared by Themes24x7